Rochester, New York...

Michelle

 R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Carole

     As I drove across New York State this summer, historical markers drew my attention to some national issues that erupted around the Rochester, New York area, "The birthplace of women's rights" (visitrochester.com).  How is it that with my open driving eyes, I never saw the markers before?  Why do I continue to be blind to oppression in all of its forms, and what is it about tonight, when my eyes should be shut, that I am haunted by all they represent?
     Sometimes, The Women's Movement seems far away from me in the year 2014, even when I open up the evening paper and read the front page headlines about the Ray Rice case.  It's too horrible to imagine, and I haven't watched the video.  I can't.  But at the same time I insulate myself from this harsh reality, I thank God that I have been given every opportunity in my life to voice my opinions without fear, and I can succeed in the goals that I set.  How complacent we can get when we lose the opportunity to struggle, and it's times like these that I remember my friends Carole and Michelle.               

      Carole, a classmate and Michelle, a colleague were both smart, beautiful and vivacious women in the prime of their lives when they were killed by their husbands.  Sometimes I feel guilty on a night like tonight when our family is sitting around the supper table talking about our adventures, our brokenness and misadventures really, and just laughing.  We are far from the picture perfect family, please don't get me wrong, but I think about what dinners must have been like for Carole, Michelle and countless other victims who are terrorized in their own homes.  I recognize how I could very easily have gone down so many different paths during the "search and rescue" phase of my life, than the one that led me to my beloved husband and partner.  

     Michelle and Carole's legacy to me each day is to embrace my own brokenness, help others to heal, try to empower those with whom I come in contact and find joy in the life I have been given.  I joined the Amazon Smile program in honor of Carole so that with each purchase I make- some of the proceeds go to our favorite Essex Junction High School Class of '83 charity, "Women Helping Battered Women, Inc."  Frankly, it doesn't seem like enough.  October is Domestic Violence Awareness month, and The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence sponsors a "Remember My Name" project, a national registry to increase public awareness of domestic violence deaths (http://www.ncadv.org/programs/RememberMyNameProject.php).  Their motto is "Every Home A Safe Home."  Safe home... now that seems to me to be a basic human right, male or female.      

(Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton

 from

http://nysparks.com/historic-preservation/heritage-trails/womens-heritage/default.aspx)