Miles Pond- Skunked ...Again!

Sensational Success!

Smelly Suckers!

The call was not good news, so I was glad that I was alone. Well, I was sort of alone. My little cousin Sweeney Lucas was asleep like an angel in the back of the van, as I sat parked outside of the Jersey Shore Premium Outlet Mall (www.premiumoutlets.com/jerseyshore/) in Tinton Falls, New Jersey. We were on our way to the Blue Claws Game, but we made enough time to do some power shopping: Pop guns, And bicycles, Roller skates, Drums, Checkerboards, Tricycles, Popcorn, And plums (Seuss)! Whoops! Wrong story... Anyway, back to the phone call. My Mom phoned me up and said, "Pamela, I have some bad news." After the initial PAMic wore off, I heard her telling me that she had gone out to our cabin to make sure everything was ready for the big visit, and the cabin had been sprayed by a skunk. She ended by saying that, barring a miracle, there was no way the cousins could stay at the cabin. They would have to stay next door at my brother and sister-in-law's, with their permission. I was devastated.

Over the next two months, a new obsession would consume me (and my saintly, Mum)... skunk odor elimination! It was amazing to me that, in my 46 years, I have heard of many dogs who were sprayed by skunks and had to be treated. As a matter of fact, if any of our dogs had been sprayed by a skunk, I feel quite confident in saying, that I would have known what to do: tomato juice or beer, lemon juice with a twist of Febreze. It's old news right, people? Right. But for a skunk to spray a house, that's rare!

Let me share a little of what I have learned. When I arrived on the scene and assessed the situation, it was worse than I thought. Apparently the little "buggas" burrowed under the boys' bedroom and let it fly. Now, that's just mean. What had they ever done? First I had to dress for the job. Because my Mum was afraid that said skunk, or heaven forbid, skunks might still be in the hole, she made me dress for the job. Gosh, I wish I could find the pictures, but they seem to have been accidentally erased from my memory card. Suffice it to say that the outfit included several layers of over-sized clothing, a towel wrapped around my head and around the front of my face, winter mittens, hiking boots and all topped off with a lovely rain poncho. The whole ensemble really had a burqa effect. If the skunk wasn't afraid the first time he sprayed, I was sure, he would be now when he got a look at me. Well, scared or laughing really, really hard.

All of this to verify that the skunk had filed his change of address. He was gone, out of there! When I peered deeply into the now tunnel that ran underneath the front of the house, there were no beady eyes looking back at me. So began my repertoire of remedies: lots of different air fresheners and deodorizers, cotton balls dipped in ammonia and propelled into the tunnel, moth balls, praying, charcoal, begging, fox urine (don't ask) and finally, Beyond Green Beyond Clean! My friend Ron told me about the all natural product and after a full fogging of the house, we had finally defeated one of mother nature's most powerful odors. I only wish I had tried it a month earlier. I think I would have saved a lot of time, money and outfits!

Why do I have this nagging feeling though that they might have the last laugh?