The Emmy Awards in Los Angeles...

Okay, Okay, I am not at the Emmy Awards.  I'll be at school tomorrow, but I am living vicariously through my sister who is at the Emmy Awards in Los Angeles tonight!  Read all about these golden statues... http://www.emmys.tv/awards/history-emmy-statuette

Heaven- Caught up in Thought

Brittney before she popped the question...

 Our Angel Chelsea...

  

What's a Godmother For?

     This summer our Goddaughter Brittney came up to the cabin, and one evening after dinner, in the midst of a ferocious card game of war, she asked me, "What's a Godmother for?"          

     Although in hindsight I am sure it was some sort of tactic to throw me off my game just in the midst of a stunning comeback, I replied in an equally stunning cerebral way, "What do you mean?"  She went on to explain that one of her friends told her that if anything ever happened to her mom and dad, she would probably end up living with her Godparents.  THAT's what Godparents are for, she proclaimed!  I assured Brittney that could and would always be a possibility, but I really felt my job as her Godmother was to inspire her soul and point her toward the love of God.  I have always wanted to support her parents in nurturing her Faith.  Some Godmother of the Soul, I am, eh?

my incredible Godmother, Aunt Marie

     Well, since then, I have thought about this a great deal.  I have thought about my own Godparents and how they have served as an inspiration to me through the years, and how I want to truly serve my Godchildren, these seven incredible people I have been entrusted to light and love.  I've never exactly known how best to do this.  After all, where is the elusive Godparents' Guide to the Galaxy?  Sometimes I feel like I fail especially when I live so far away from them for most of the year.  This insight comes especially hard during this week when we remember in a special way Brittney's twin sister, our Goddaughter Chelsea who died from SIDS in 2001.  I know that she is in Heaven, and my goal is that someday, we'll all join her.  Even in this, Chelsea is the one to lead me toward peace, love, joy and understanding because I get that from her spirit each and every day.  These are the characteristics I most want to epitomize as a Godmother, mother, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, niece, cousin, friend, teacher and neighbor.  Of all of the things that I have ever questioned in my life, and trust me there have been many, my Faith in God has always been my one constant.  But how do I measure up in conveying this to those around me and especially my sacred seven?

     A couple of years ago, just after we moved to Nebraska, I read an article in a magazine that inspired me to send out a survey/evaluation tool to my Godchildren to see if I was measuring up.  I got some really interesting responses, but with the Grace of God, it might be time to send it out again and update the data.  Anyway, here's what the letter looked like...

Dear Child of God/Godchild of mine,

"Being the best Godmother to you is the most important thing in the world to me.  Please answer the following survey questions in order to assist me in doing my job better.  I want you to know that I am very proud to be your Godmother.  Thank you for taking the time to respond.  You may return this to me anytime." 

1.  Name something that we have done in the past together that you have really enjoyed and you want to do again.

Brian...

2.  What is one thing you have wanted to do with me but never have?

Conor

 3.  What one thing have you wanted me to teach or tell you that I never have?

Emily

 4.  What one thing is really on your mind that you want me to know?

Tarah!

Sean

5.  How am I measuring up?

Love, 

Auntie PJ

Wausa...Color Run!

The Rising Phoenixes

cough, cough...gag!

Nebraska...The Good Life

In the beginning...

It's harder than it looks...

so I wasn't in the wagon this year...

I was okay with that.

He was so high up...

Three generations

This shot is too beautiful to be real

Grandpa Huwaldt and his boys

Nebraska Gothic... Oops, I am on the wrong side!

I will never look at my oatmeal at breakfast the same

God is good... All the time!

My weak arms were throbbing here.  Mr. Huwaldt wasn't even breaking a sweat!

Hitching it right for the ride to Pierce...

Next stop the Pierce Threshing Bee!

"Hey, Is this Heaven?" "No, it's Nebraska."

 

 

Bringing in the ...Oats!

      Each year, it seems that we return to Nebraska a little bit later in the summer.  The last couple of years, I have returned too late to participate in the annual tradition of bringing in the oats in order to prepare for the Pierce Threshing Bee.  But not this year.  No, Siree, Bob... The loading of the oat shocks was Tuesday night, but Tuesday was hot.  Darn hot,.  It was so darn hot, I wasn't sure what to expect.  In all honesty, I guess I should have expected what I have come to experience each August when we cross from Iowa into Nebraska and see the "Nebraska-  The Good Life" sign.  I feel a tremendous sense of peace, relief that our odyssey has come to an end for another year and a quiet kind of joy.  This peacefulness comes over me after I pass through Sioux City and head west on Highway 20.  People wave from passing cars as all of those old familiar sights and smells wash over me...  I look for the county 13 and 40 plates.  Nebraska is like "Cheers" in that way... it seems like everyone knows your name, story and vehicle.  Anyway, I felt that peacefulness last night lobbing those bundles.  There was a gentle breeze blowing, and the sky went on forever.  All the generations came and worked together sharing drinks, expertise, pitchforks, opinions and lots of laughter.  The sky and its setting sun cast a rainbow of light on the cool warmth of community.

       I wish I had a picture riding back to the parsonage with Mr. Huwaldt down those country gravel roads last night as he was telling me stories of what farming had been like through the years.  Although I didn't get in the wagons last night, I felt like I was on top of the world all the way home. Do you remember that part in Field of Dreams when Shoeless Joe Jackson was asking Ray where he was playing on that baseball field?  Shoeless Joe called out, "Hey, Is this Heaven?"

     Ray replied, "No, it's Iowa."  I don't know about you, but last night in the Gubbels' field west (?) of Coleridge, Nebraska did feel a little like Heaven.

  

  

Inside the Grafton County Jail

Spider webs can be hard to see, but they illustrate intricate relationships...

"Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around--nobody big, I mean--except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff--I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I'd do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be. I know it's crazy" (J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye from Chapter 22).

                During the summer, in addition to lots of spiders, snakes and other assorted wildlife at Miles Pond, I get the opportunity to hang out with some really cool people.  One such group of people is my chapter of the Daughters of the American Revolution (DAR).  The DAR, no stranger to justice issues, embraces its mission in today’s world by being “dedicated to promoting patriotism, preserving American history, and securing America's future through better education for children.”  It sounds almost cliché, but it is not as I have seen this mission brought to life by the members of The St. John de Crevecoeur Chapter.   One such inspirational illustration is our Vice Regent, Linda Clark.  Linda volunteers her time at the Grafton County Jail to assist residents in getting their GED (General Education Development) Diplomas by preparing for and taking a series of tests.  Linda became involved in the program through her church, but was able to able to arrange for our DAR Chapter to take a tour of the new Grafton County Jail in North Haverhill, New Hampshire on July 17th.  In hindsight, I’m not sure what I was expecting, but what I learned, and more importantly felt will stay with me forever. 

                On the morning of the jail tour, I greeted the pond during my morning walk.  I found a spider web outside of our cabin, and it captivated me.  I was mesmerized when I saw how the web showed the myriad of relationships among many different segments.   I saw one spider racing across the surface while other critters were stuck, unable to recover from that one, false and damning step.  If the sun had not glistened against the threads just so, I too would have been captured in its silky, yet invisibly sticky lines.  This image stayed with me the entire day as I began the tour and listened to Lieutenant Kendall discuss not only how this new jail offered more modern facilities, but how the new jail complex represented the philosophical changes in criminal justice systems as well.  Lieutenant Kendall discussed programs, like Linda’s church ministry and GED programs, that are offered in order to rehabilitate prisoners so that they can serve their time and upon release, live productive lives.  Novels like Catcher in the Rye and Les Miserables were the first to pop into my head.  If only these prisoners in the Grafton County Jail could have been “caught” before they fell off that first cliff, spiraling into their behavior and crimes that led them here.  If only they all had saviors like Bishop Myriel was to Jean Valjean in Victor Hugo’s Les Miserables.   Not only did the Bishop’s intervention offer Valjean redemption, but Valjean’s redemption in turn led to salvation for others…many others.  He, like Salinger’s protagonist Holden Caulfield from The Catcher in the Rye, caught them all, and I have a deep sense of gratitude, appreciation and profound respect in my heart for all of the employees and volunteers who serve these people each and every day, offering them an opportunity for redemption and salvation.   

                I could tell you that the world we live in can be a very dangerous place, but the news reminds us of this every day.  Sometimes it makes us feel like we might want to lock ourselves away in our own homes and never come out again.  After all, each one of us has been affected in one way or another by people who break the law, and perhaps we have even felt a self-righteous surge of pleasure when “justice” was served in one form or another.  I know that I have.  What I can’t illustrate in this blog is the heartbreaking feeling deep in my soul as I heard about prison programs for pregnant women or read their poems, saw their collages.  What I can’t explain is the scary feeling in my stomach when all of the DAR ladies crowded, and then were locked into, the transition chamber before entering the various blocks or pods of the prison.  Looking from the control room into their cells, into their eyes as we looked at them and they watched us haunts me still.  I wanted to reach out and save them all, but how do I help?  Having been a mom, teacher, boy scout volunteer, prayer warrior and youth group sponsor for the past 26 years, I do try to proactively support parents in helping students to become productive citizens who know (and do) right from wrong.  But now, with this new experience from touring the Grafton County Jail, I want to integrate and thread this knowledge into what I already do to save them all.  I have this heavy feeling that my salvation may depend on it…

                We are all intricately, even though sometimes invisibly, connected, so “that's all I'd do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be."

Welcome to the Grafton County Jail!

Philosophical changes in criminal justice have changed the way jails look.

In the Parsonage... Randolph, Nebraska

(fi.edu)

Happy Birthday, Colin!

 =

Throwing caution to the wind?

Adult life is a wild ride, Colin... Pack up those power rangers and hold on tight!

Kindergarten Graduation

 

July 31, 2013

To Colin, on the occasion of your 21^st Birthday,

            On this auspicious day, I wish that I could write like a learned British scholar in order to convey my feelings in a way that would resonate with you for years to come.   Undoubtedly, I will lapse into tired old clichés, but I have to try.  When I heard your voice on the other end of the phone today, I thought that this bad-day experience was actually a perfect segue into adulthood for you.  You, of course, know that we believe you have been an adult since you turned 18-  legally, I guess everyone else thinks that it’s today.  Anyway, when I heard your frustrated voice and listened to your story, all I could think of was the Australian boomerang I gave to you in January.  Colin, adulthood, and life for that matter, is a lot like that boomerang,. 

            Here’s why adulthood and life are a lot like your boomerang.  I know these things because I consulted Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boomerang).  Did you know that a boomerang is a “thrown tool designed to circle back to its thrower”?  Colin, I firmly believe that whatever you throw out at the world, it circles back around and comes after ya.  (Okay, I could be quoting Uncle Ron here, but it is still true!)  Throw love, kindness and compassion whenever possible.  Capiche?  Historically, the boomerang is cut from a tree and so are you.  You have spent countless hours working on our family tree, Colin, so you know that you come from sturdy stock.  We love and support you always and want YOU to reap the fruits of love, Faith and joy.  Just as trees have imperfections, so do we…forgive unconditionally.  To catch a break in life or a propelling boomerang, you have to remain open but on the right path.  Be safe for crying out loud and be aware of your surroundings at all times.  

          According to Wikipedia.org, sometimes boomerangers tune for a flight which involves… 

“The boomerang is then thrown several times to check if it works. The extreme subtleties of the aerodynamic forces on the light wooden boomerang make it surprisingly difficult to predict how the finished boomerang will perform. Two apparently identical boomerangs may radically differ in their flight patterns. For example they may climb uncontrollably, they may fall repeatedly into the ground, they may exhibit long narrow pattern non-returning flight, or display other erratic behaviour. The only sure way to know is to flight test them.”

I know that you are doing this now.  You may have to do some sanding as you go.  Just keep tuning.  It’s all tuning really. Throwers HAVE to discern the “wind and launch direction” by facing INTO the wind.  This will make you stronger, Colin;  I suspect it already has.  It’s counterintuitive really, but the more volatile the wind, the softer the boomerang must be thrown.  I’m sorry if I haven’t demonstrated this principle at times;  I think I am just starting to understand this dynamic myself.                

            Well, that’s it, Colin.  That is how this adult/life business is a lot like throwing a boomerang.  (I’d like to tell you it’s really more like our screen door at camp.  You know the one that leads out onto the deck, but there would be a lot of holes in that analogy…)  Happy Birthday, Colin Thomas Fallon.  We love you and remember to go the distance you will have to make adjustments and minimize the DRAG.  No worries! 

Love,

Mom

It probably would have been better just to post this instead...More wisdom... Fewer words